Kauai turns out to be a lonely place when you’re a mom trying to escape your home and the beating sun with a newborn. It’s not all that idyllic as I had imagined motherhood on a tropical island to be. We move back to California with the idea of buying two homes next to each other: one for Dave and one for me. Maybe this will be the way to solve the looming marital crisis. But the real estate crisis starts to unfold and as a result that plan falls through so here we are again sharing a house plus the home based business.


The scenery has changed, but the abuse behind closed doors continues. Here I go again, driving Jasmijn around to try and escape the passive agressive domestic terror. At least the temperature is more varied and I have some friends here where I can go cry.

Then I walk in to the bathroom one day to see Dave using heroin. In the same week he admits to having an affair ever since Jasmijn was 5 months old. Additionally I discover that he has racked up some serious credit card debts. Another attempt at couple’s counseling (with Sindona Cassteel, MFT) fails.


The marriage falls apart and I move to Austin, Texas with Jasmijn because California is too expensive for a single momma, especially when your ex-husband takes off with all the business equipment and leaves you to fend for yourself with a 2-year old. Dave doesn’t show up for 6 months even though I offer him a ticket to come and visit…

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